The Day Dogs Blew My Mind

Trigger warning: mentions loss of beloved pet

Sometimes, the things we fear most become the very things that change us.

Fear has a way of convincing us that certain doors are meant to stay closed, that some experiences are simply not meant for us. For years, I believed that was true for me and dogs. I never imagined that something I feared so deeply could one day become a source of comfort, joy, and love.

But life often unfolds in unexpected ways. It challenges the stories we tell ourselves and reminds us that growth can come from the most unlikely places. This is a story about unexpected change, second chances, and how my heart made room for something I once thought it never could.

I never thought that day would come.  All my life, I was afraid of them.  I remember when I was chased by some of them multiple times as a kid.  My knees, hands, voice, whole body - shaking after I thought I'd already outrun them.  Until adulthood, I couldn't walk the streets alone without being fearful.  Even when leaving or entering our own house, I was afraid because some of them were there.  To me, they were the "villains" in my life.  I was so scared of them, even the small ones… Then, six years ago, I got not just one but three of my own.

I'm not sure what got into me. Watching heartwarming dog videos online suddenly made me want to get a dog. But I knew I was afraid. I had viewed them as my "enemies" since childhood!

Yet, I still felt I wanted to take care of one. To experience the love and companionship dogs can bring, as I've seen in home videos online, must be wonderful.  So, I decided to buy one from a seller I found online.  Sadly, this didn't go well.  I will not go into full details, but my first puppy passed away due to an illness after having her for only a few days.  She was so sweet.  I remember when she felt my presence beside her, she mustered her strength to lift her head and rest it on my arm.

She was with me for only a few days, but I've loved her so much. I was heartbroken by the loss.

After a while, I still wanted to have a dog. Browsing further online made me aware that there is such a thing as unethical dog breeding.  I found it very cruel.  On the other hand, I learned about organizations that rescue, heal, and put rescued dogs up for adoption.

From a dog rescue organization's social media post, I was able to find the dog that I decided to adopt.  A male aspin (asong Pinoy, i.e., Pinoy/Filipino dog; a local terminology for a mongrel) that they rescued from a cemetery.  They estimated him to be about one to two years old.

After a few months, I adopted another rescued dog from the same organization.  A female aspin that they rescued in the streets.  Also about one to two years old and was cratemates with the previous dog in their foster home.

Life really is so unexpected.  I still can't believe I'd be able to live with dogs, communicate with them, play with them, and most surprisingly, love them. My family and relatives were shocked because they all knew me as someone who's terribly afraid of dogs.  I'm still in awe that dogs could communicate with me and 'love' me, as well.  I'm thankful to have been introduced to what to me is a whole new world: dog world.

Looking back now, I still find it amazing how life can completely change our perspective.

The animals I once feared became the ones who taught me about trust, patience, and unconditional love. Through both loss and unexpected joy, they helped me overcome a fear I thought I would carry forever.

Adopting rescued aspins made the experience even more meaningful because while I was giving them a second chance at a loving home, they were also helping me rewrite a story I had believed for so long about fear.

Sometimes, the things we fear most really do become the very things that change us, and in my case, dogs changed my life in the best way possible.

After my decades of fear, bati na tayo, mga aso (we're good, dogs)!

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